


Choose Me Instead

by dear_reader



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Heartbreak, Sad with a Happy Ending, but it's happy in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 12:54:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14189397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dear_reader/pseuds/dear_reader
Summary: Regina watches Emma, happy with Hook, until she's not happy anymore..





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So, I'm on a MAJOR SwanQueen hype at the moment and this is my second SQ fic. Supposedly inspired by the song Instead by Ryan Amador :) enjoy, or don't, up to you..

5:05pm. The clock slowly turns as each second passes. 

Regina looks through the raindrops, silently falling down the glass window; racing each other towards the white wooden panel hugging the bottom of the glass. If she weren’t in public, she was sure that her face would be showing a similar scene.

As she was minding her own business, the blonde that had been circling her mind came into view, across the street from the window in question, and closely followed by the pirate. She watched as the blonde spun on her heel, curls following behind her and Hook reaching to grab her outstretched hand. 

And that was it. Regina had to turn away. She narrowed her gaze on the slight chip of the saucer that her coffee cup sat on, waiting for many minutes to pass before she dared look up. Thankfully, when she did, they were no longer in sight out of the window, and she quickly settled back in to   
her sorrowful state, staring mindlessly into the rain. 

It had been a few months since the brunette realised she had some sort of feelings for the blonde. Seeing Emma interact with Henry as a family, and not only that, but with Regina as well, had caused her to grow fond of the blonde, trying as hard as she could to form some sort of bond between them. And like Regina always did, she ended up pushing Emma further away, before she had the chance to strengthen it and possibly take it further. Now, she sat in heartache as she watched her be happy. Don’t get her wrong, she wanted nothing more than for Emma to find happiness, but it broke her heart that it wasn’t with her. She felt as though her final chance at having a proper family had slipped away from her, and she’d been too stubborn to try for it.

The brunette had been flooded with these thoughts for the past five minutes, and only came back to reality when she heard the diner bell ring. Instantly, her head snapped up and towards the door.

Oh god.

This wasn’t happening to her. She understood that she’d done bad things in her previous life, but did she really deserve this?

It was Emma and Hook.

Upon spotting Regina looking solemn, Emma whispered to Hook - obviously asking him to order - and made her way over to the brunette.

‘Regina, hey. What’s up?’

Sighing quietly, Regina tilted her head up and forced a smile.

‘Miss Swan, hello. I didn’t see you there. I’m fine, thank you. How’re you?’ 

‘I’m good, thanks. Hook and I just came in for some coffee, the weather is gross outside. How come you’re alone?’

Alone. Great choice of words, thought Regina. 

‘I’m not alone, I’m…I’m just warming up before heading back to the office to meet Henry.’ 

Emma frowned ever so slightly - this wasn’t like Regina, she never usually faltered on her words.

‘Yeah, of course. I didn’t mean..well, anyway, I’ll let you get back to your coffee.’

At the prospect of Emma leaving the conversation, Regina said the first thing that came to her mind.

‘Are you happy?’

Emma paused.

‘Sorry?’

Too late to turn back now, thought Regina.

‘With Hook, I mean. Are you happy?’

‘Uh, yeah, I guess - I mean, I think so. It’s all very..new. I mean, I don’t know him that well, but…I think so. Why d’you ask?’ 

Regina’s face tightened and she tried not to let the sheer sadness inside of her show.

‘I’m glad. I just, I guess I don’t want you to have any regrets. Regret is the harshest form of punishment one can bestow upon one’s self.’ 

Emma slowly sat down opposite Regina - this was odd, Emma thought. Too odd.

‘Regina? Are you..are you okay?’

‘I’m fine, Miss Swan. Do not worry about me. Enjoy your coffee.’

With that, Regina stood, making her way out of the diner, and into the rain, leaving a very confused Emma sat in an empty booth, with an empty coffee cup.

 

******

 

The rain hadn’t let up the whole time she’d been in the diner, so now, as she stood in the rain, it was hard to tell which were raindrops and which were tears.

It wasn’t often in her life that Regina felt herself physically crumble. She kept herself pristine and sharp, but today, right now, on the inside, she was falling apart. And she needed to be alone. 

Taking out her phone she texted Snow.

Have a mountain of paperwork to go through tonight - could Henry possibly stay with you for the night? - RM

There was an almost instant response.

Of course! I’ll have David come over and pick him up in 10. Hope the paperwork goes well! - Snow x

Eugh. Peppy as always, thought Regina. But, she was thankful for the help.

Next, was Henry.

Henry, if it’s alright would you mind staying with the Charmings tonight? I have a tonne of paperwork that needs completing and will probably be up most of the night. Love, Mom x 

Another, instant response.

Sure, mom! I was going to see if I could get some help on a project from David, anyway. So I’ll see you tomorrow? x

Regina typed out a quick reply.

Of course. Stay safe, I love you Henry x   
Love you too, mom x

And that was that. 

Regina ducked out of the rain and into her car, setting off for home, to be alone. 

 

******

 

Emma had said goodbye to Hook at the door and made her way into her parent’s apartment. 

‘Emma!’

Henry bundled his way over to Emma and wrapped his arms around her in a hug.

‘Hey…kid?’ 

She looked down at the brunette boy and knelt so they were similar in height. 

‘What’re you doing here?’

The boy frowned. 

‘I’m staying here for the night. David is helping me with a history project. Why’re you so surprised?’

Regina had said she was going to meet Henry when she had left the diner not half an hour ago. So she’d lied. That wasn’t like Regina either. Something was wrong. 

‘Uh, no reason. My brain just lost me for a minute.’

She ruffled the boy’s head and walked over to talk to Snow.

‘So, how come Henry’s staying here tonight? When I saw Regina earlier she said she was going to meet Henry.’

Snow frowned.

‘Oh, really? Well I got a text from her about twenty minutes ago, saying that she had a mountain of paperwork and would be up all night, so asked if Henry could stay here. Is everything okay?’ 

Emma looked puzzled and concerned.

‘I’m not sure..I’ll be back in a bit, alright?’

‘Of course,’ Snow replied, ‘be safe.’

And with that, Emma left, and set off for Regina’s office.

 

******

 

Closing the door behind her, Regina kicked off her heels and went straight to the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of wine. 

She made her way into the study and lit the fire, curling up with a blanket in the armchair by the warmth. 

Today had been hard. Really hard. Seeing Emma with Hook had just reminded her that not only is she alone, but she is without Emma. Granted, she’d never had her in the first place, but that didn’t mean it hurt her any less. 

As she’d said earlier, Regina just wanted Emma to be happy, she couldn’t care if she was in love. Although, if she was being honest to herself, she could. And she did. And it killed her inside that she was. It was virtually impossible for Regina to avoid Emma - Storybrooke was hardly a big town. And now everywhere she went she’d be reminded of the person she could never have. 

The night seemed to take forever to pass and Regina found herself lit only by the flames, empty wine glass in hand as a single tear trickled down her cheek.

 

******

 

So the office was a bust. Regina had definitely lied to Emma, why hadn’t she seen it? Emma could normally pick up on lies the second they were formed, but today she’d looked straight at Regina and missed it. And she felt awful. 

Emma had parked her bug just outside of the brunette’s mansion, and was slowly and quietly making her way up the path towards the front door. All of the lights were off, but Emma saw a flicker out of the corner of her eye, and when she snuck behind the pillar to look inside, the sight almost broke Emma. 

Regina, who she’d always thought of as strong and together, sat huddled by the fire, legs drawn up underneath her as slow tears made their way down her cheeks. 

Emma had to do something. She considered Regina as a friend and she couldn’t just stand by and watch as something destroyed her.

She made her way to the door and gently knocked. No one answered. She knocked again. The same response. Maybe she didn’t want to be bothered. Emma waited for a minute but then resigned herself to this thought and made her way back down the steps. 

Just as she stepped off the last of them, she heard the lock and the door opening, followed by a soft voice.

‘Emma?’

Regina peered into the darkness at what she thought was the blonde’s figure.

‘Regina, hi. Can I - can I come in?’

Regina just tugged the blanket around her even further and stepped into the house, allowing Emma to enter. 

Emma hesitated, but decided to bite the bullet.

‘So, what’s going on, Regina?’

The brunette frowned, her back turned to her, not wanting the other to find out that she’d been crying alone all evening. 

‘What do you mean?’

‘You told me you were going to the office to meet Henry and I get home and find Henry at my parent’s apartment with you having lied to Snow about having a stack of paperwork to do. Which you’re clearly not doing, so you lied. Something’s wrong. I thought I noticed earlier but didn’t say something, and I should have. So what’s going on?’

Dammit, Regina thought. Could Emma really read her like an open book? She was losing her game. 

‘Yes, I lied. I finished my paperwork earlier this afternoon, but felt a bit unwell so asked Snow to look after Henry for the night, is that such a crime?’

Regina was starting to get defensive. Her emotions were everywhere right now and the last thing she needed was Emma coming in with her perfect life and perfect family and rubbing it in her face.

‘Okay, so you’re sick. That still doesn’t explain why it looks like you’re trying to shoot daggers at me with your eyes. It’s clearly something more, and I’m not leaving until I help you. You deserve to be happy, Regina. Everyone gets their happy endings, remember? Including you.’

‘Please, just leave, Miss Swan.’

She did not want to have this conversation right now, or ever, for that matter. It was clear that her happy ending had been taken by someone else, and she just wanted to be alone.

‘Regina. Tell me, what’s going on with you?’

She’d had enough.

‘What do you care? Just go back to your perfect family, with Henry and Hook and have the life that I’ll never get. Could you do me a favour? Keep your happiness to yourself as far as possible. I don’t need to see Hook getting - you know what, forget it. You can leave now.’

Emma was angry now, and she wasn’t letting this go. 

‘No. Getting what?’

Regina huffed.

‘What I’ll never have.’

‘Oh yeah, and what’s that?’

Regina closed her eyes and when she opened them, she looked directly into Emma’s.

‘You.’

And with that, she was gone in a puff of purple smoke, leaving Emma behind, stood in shock.


	2. Go, Be In love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After that night, things begin to change for Emma Swan..

Regina poured herself a mug of coffee from her cafe-tier in the kitchen. It had been roughly six weeks since that night in her hallway, and she’d avoided Emma as best as she could. The very few occasions the two had interacted were limited to their passing over of Henry.

Even the young boy could tell that there was something wrong between them. He hadn’t mentioned it to either of his moms, but he could see in Regina’s eyes, the hurt there whenever the three of them encountered each other. 

However hard she tried, Regina thought about that night at least five separate times a day. Unhappy and perpetually sad, she made her way through her day, winding up back at her home like she always did, to collect some fresh apples and bake to take her mind off of things. 

Henry was staying at Emma’s for the weekend as he had spent the last week with Regina, noticing how she needed him more than Emma did.

Settling in to her kitchen, she put an apron on and got to cooking.

 

******

 

Locking the door to the station, Emma made her way to the diner to meet Hook. Tonight was the night. The night she called things off. She was fairly sure he’d been seeing some girl who worked at the bar down the road, anyway.

Ever since that night at Regina’s, Emma couldn’t settle. Being with Hook didn’t feel right, she was never sure that it truly had. It was nice and exciting to begin with, but there was no emotional connection. Not like the one she felt she had with the brunette. They had never gotten super close, but Emma felt a pull to the brunette that she couldn’t explain. It was something more, something bigger than her and Hook could have ever been.

Packing all of her thoughts away, she pushed through the diner door and sat down at a free booth. 5:10pm. Hook should’ve been here 10 minutes ago and she’d already been here for 20. She took out her phone.

Hey. Where are you? We were meeting at 5? - E

Five minutes later she got a reply.

Sorry, love. Got..distracted. Going to have to reschedule. - H

And that was it. Emma hated to be that person but..

Don’t bother. It’s over, have fun with your new toy. - E

No response. Well, that didn’t go great. The only mercy was that it was dealt with. 

Now, Emma was confused, alone and entirely anxious. Just then, her phone buzzed.

Hey mom, dinners nearly ready, you on your way? - H x

Emma typed out a quick reply and made her way to her parent’s apartment.

 

******

Sat around the dinner table, Emma began to feel the emptiness in her chest swell. Looking at Snow and David laughing and sharing stolen kisses made her want for that kind of feeling. And there’s only one person she wanted it with.

She pushed her chair back from the table and stood up suddenly.

‘Sorry, mom, dad, Henry, I - I have to go.’

She threw her napkin down and made for the door, grabbing her keys and her jacket. 

‘Emma?’ Snow called after her.

‘Yeah?’ 

She smiled sweetly. 

‘Find your happy ending.’

And with that, Emma was out of the door and on her way to Mifflin Street.

 

******

Regina had put the rest of the turnovers into a Tupperware container and placed them in the cupboard. Taking off her apron, she made her way towards the stairs, hoping to run herself a soothing bath.

Just as her foot had met the first step, there was an incessant banging at her door.

She rolled her eyes and was going to ignore it until it came again. Turning on her heel, she reluctantly made her way over to open the door. 

‘What?’ She barked as she pulled the big oak door open.

Oh. It was Emma.

‘Regina, hi, can I come in?’

‘Um, now’s not the best time..’

Emma shook her head and stepped in to Regina’s space.

‘Please.’

Regina stepped back and closed the door behind them.

‘Look, Emma, I’m sorry about -‘

‘No, don’t. Please, just let me talk.’

Regina was stunned by Emma’s directness and was silent.

‘Okay. Okay, um. Right. Look, ever since that night, I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. I don’t want to regret anything. I want my happy ending, and it’s not with Hook, it never was. The jerk couldn’t even show up this evening when I dumped him,’

‘You - you did what?’

Now Regina was really confused. Why had Emma thrown that away?

‘Yup, I dumped Hook. He was never who I really wanted to be with, I just liked the thought of someone liking me back. But that was stupid, so stupid. There was no emotional connection. I felt..nothing. But since that night, I’ve not been able to stop feeling things about… you. Over these past few months you’ve come to mean so much to me, and to Henry, and I don’t want to ever regret not telling you how much you mean to me.’

Regina swallowed, opening her mouth but then closing it, entirely stunned by Emma’s speech.

‘And I know,’ the blonde continued, ‘I know that I probably ruined everything the first time. But Regina I never want you to think that you’re alone. I want to be here for you, I - I want to be your happy ending.’  
Silence. All of the emotions that Regina had subdued came flooding back to her. For weeks she had worked to rid herself of these thoughts, but now she could think of nothing other than Emma.

Noticing the blonde fidgeting, she spoke.

‘Do you mean that?’

Emma smiled softly and took a step closer to the brunette.

‘Yes. Absolutely. I’m sorry it took me so long to realise it. When I came here, that night, six weeks ago, before I knocked on your door, I saw you through your window, sat by the fire. And I saw you cry, and it broke my heart. I hate to think that I caused you pain, I never meant to. I was just confused and…and, well, I was scared. Scared that my feelings wouldn’t be reciprocated, that it’d just be easier to be with Hook. But I don’t want it to be easy, I want to fight for you Regina. You’re my happy ending.’

At this, a tear trickled down Regina’s cheek, followed by a soft laugh.

‘You’re making me cry again, Miss Swan.’

Emma chuckled and brought her hand to the brunette’s cheek, softly wiping her tears away. 

‘At least they’re happy tears now. Wait, they are happy, right?’

Regina snorted.

‘Yes, Swan. They’re happy tears.’

A gentle silence settled over them.

‘So…you’ll have me, then?’

Regina tucked a curl behind the blonde’s ear.

‘Of course, how could I not? You’re my happy ending.’

And with that, the two closed the space between them, sharing a kiss that could light a thousand stars.


End file.
